Frustrated!

I just need a little venting session... not that my family blog wasn't venting :)!! I just want to say I have always tried to make everyone feel welcome into my family. I have always tried to at least say Hi and How are you at family gatherings to everyone. But apparently I'm a horrible sister and sister-in-law. But what I really discovered is this: I'm not horrible it's others who think the world revolves around them! The only thing I have ever wanted is to be loved and to be included in both my family and Jess' family. But for some reason, that I haven't figured out yet (other than the world revolves around them), I am never to talk about me or what's going on with me and I should only sit quietly and never say a word and I should never be included in anything. I have tried so hard to make my brother's wives all feel comfortable in our large family (and I know my mom has too) it's hard to be thrown into a family with 13 kids and all the hulla ballou that goes along with it. But I also have a husband and 3 kids that I have to watch too. I feel like I have to keep an eye on my kids now and that I don't get the chance to "hang out" in the living room with all the girls and chat because as soon as someone comes in crying it's all my kids fault (whether it really is or not). And I don't have feelings I'm just supposed to take what ever is dished out... this is true for Jess' side as well. I would love to have a break from my kids and sit and chat with all the girls but that just isn't going to happen because I am a mom.