Twilight

Yes I am reading Twilight again. It sure is taking me a long time though, since I've been at it for about 2 months now and I'm not even half way through. I've just been super busy lately. The last two weeks Jess has been out of town. The kids all wanted to sleep in my bed and were sad daddy was gone... not to meantion our drama the first night he was gone. So they asked me to read to them. Well I was reading my Twilight book and decided why not. I read them a chapter of Twilight and Emma is hooked. She is an Edward fan but thinks Bella's name should be changed to Emma. Oh the lovely mind of my four year old :), isn't she sweet. Even Jackson likes the books, of course he doesn't like the mushy stuff, go figure, he's a boy :)!! And Easton he could care less, he goes to bed pretty easily still even when daddy is gone. We just have to worry about him getting up at 3 am and wondering around the house :)!!

Blessed!

I love reading blogs and reading people's experiences and how human we all are. Today I feel especially blessed. One blog I follow had a makeover contest. People were nominated and then 6 fnalists were chosen. I read the stories of these 6 ladies and I have to say most of them made me grateful for my own trials. One sweet woman has a boy who was born without a brain but is still alive (he's 3 or 4 years old) and she has other children too. Can I say I think she took the cake cause I don't know how people do it. Easton was in the hospital a month and I thought I had it bad. Another lady has had 2 children. The first died when he was 5 weeks old and the other when she was 7 weeks old. That tore my heart out and stomped on it. I've lost one baby but two and in a row and to not be able to have anymore.... I can't even image what she must go through everyday. Another was a woman who has a small child and tried very hard to make her marriage last but her husband (for lack of other words) is pretty much a jerk and is very abusive towards her. And one more I'll tell you about, she has two boys and had a baby girl on the way. There were complications and this sweet baby was born just a few days ago but died during labor...there again...my heart is aching. So I feel very blessed. I have my own little trials that seem big and hugemongus while I'm going through them but honestly I have it a lot easier than most so I shouldn't complain. On these days I just think Count Your Blessings and know that Heavenly Father is aware of you and he knows your limitations. He also sends us Angels to help us through. Those Angels range from the seen to the unseen. I think my seen Angels go without naming but there are many and I appreciate all of them in my life.

MLK DAY

Friday I picked Jackson up from school on our way to the babysitters. He got in the car and he started telling me about what he learned in school that day. He asked me if I knew who Martin Luther King Junior was. I told him yes and he got so excited and started telling me stories about this great man. Finally I asked him "What did Mr. King do that was so great?" (I asked this question because he had told a lot of stories but hadn't really hit it on the head yet) To my great surprise he said "He made everyone equal. We are all the same." I was so proud of him. I asked him "Why is that so important?" And he said "Because Heavenly Father and Jesus want it that way and we are all God's children." My cup runneth over and so did my tear ducts. I love that he looks beyond skin color and sees the person inside. I love that he is so smart and has wisdom beyond his years and I love that what we are teaching him here at home is sinking in too.

--J

What's on the Menu?

For the past 7 plus years that I have been married, Jess and I make a menu for the week and then go grocery shopping for the things that we need. This helps keep us on track with our bugdet and helps us not to over spend at the grocery store. Although sometimes it still happens. Here is one of our Menu's from a few weeks ago:

Monday: BBQ hotdogs and steak
Tuesday: Lasagne
Wednesday: Left overs
Thursday: Hilda's Rice
Friday: Homemade Pizza
Saturday: Dad's night
Sunday: Chicken parmesan

We generally try to have a left overs night since some of the recipes can't be cut down anymore and lets face it not every meal can be frozen and used at a later date. But anything that can be we try to freeze. My kids get to help out with the meal planning and they even get to help cook. Their favorite thing to do is to help me make bread. My mother-in-law has the most amazing recipe and generously gave it to me and taught me how to make bread... it is divine!! My kids are hooked and now super spoiled. We also love, love, love freezer jam. I can't wait for fruit season. The sad thing is most of the fruit will be rippening and ready for canning and making jam about the time my baby is due :(. So this year might be slim pickin's for my kids and husband. But hopefully my baby will come on the day I've told her too (Ha Ha Ha!!) and I should be up and moving around enough to at least get the basics done. And if we have another spring in Utah like we had last year... the fruit will all be a month or two behind and then I'll definitely be okay for canning :)!!

The one really sad thing is...that my menu's have gone out the window since becoming pregnant and let me tell you how much that has thrown me through a loop. At the same time I'm so tired I can't even begin to think about cooking let alone actually doing it. Hopefully my first trimester will come to screaching hault and I'll feel better over night and be able to resume our normal routines and even try out some new recipes :)!!!

Miracles Happen

Babies are miracles! Plain and simple. But my babies are not only miracles but an act of God. I have endometriosis. I was diagnosed when I was 18 but knew by 16 that is what I had. To be diagnosed with endometriosis you have to have surgery. It can't be detected through ultra sound or just by symptoms. It is very, very painful also causes women not to be able to have kids. I grew up in a rather large family (13 children all from the same mom and dad) so at age 18 when the reality of this devistating condition was setting in I choose not to believe that I would never have children. I had considered adoption and what an amazing gift these young girls give to not only their baby but to the adoptive parents. In the back of my mind I knew I would have at least one baby.

Jess and I started dating a few months after I was diagnosed. He was still in his Senior year and I had just graduated the year before. Jess and I knew after several months that we were supposed to be married for eternity. Jess still had a two year mission a head of him and I encouraged him to go. Shortly after he left on his mission (about a month) my endometriosis got worse and my doctor wanted to see me. I went into his office and he said to me that I needed to get married right away and try for children but there were no gaurentees that I would ever be able to have kids. My endometriosis was very severe and getting worse. I couldn't help but laugh and he said I'm not kidding. I told him I just sent a missionary off and he's the one that I'm supposed to marry. He has two more years. This doctor was LDS himself and he said all I can do is help you with pain management and we'll leave the rest up to God. 18 months later I was back in his office for a pre-surgery consultation and to have him sign my papers so I could go on a mission my self. He asked about this missionary and I said "oh, he said he'd wait for me." And he said when does he get home. I said six months. He just grinned and signed the papers. After my surgery it was confirmed just how bad my endometriosis had become, but they lasered it all out I was free to go on my mission. While at the MTC, 3 days before my plane was to leave for Florida I had a severe "endo attack". The MTC doctors wanted me to go home get on this medicine for 3 months and as long as it was working they would send me straight back to Florida. This was 2 months before Jess got home. I didn't want to come home. I told the doctors "No my doctor already signed off that I could come out." So they sent me to see the MTC Mission President and his wife. I will never forget this couple and how amazing they are. The Mission President told me Heavenly Father was testing you. Just like with Abraham and Issac. He just wanted to know that you were willing to do anything he asked of you. You have served your mission well and it's now time for you to go home and begin a new mission. He gave me a blessing that said I would be able to get marrie and have children in the Lord's time.

Little did I know that the Lord's time was sooner than my timing. Jess came home two months later and the week I was to give my Stake President a decision as to wether or not I was going back on my mission Jess asked me to marry him. 8 weeks later we were married and 8 weeks after that we found out we were expecting a baby. Talk about the Lord's timing. My doctor couldn't believe it and made me take several pregnancy tests... all which came out positive. Miracles Happen. With Emma I had surgery again and months later after I thought surgery had failed found out we were pregnant again. Both Jackson and Emma had tramatic entries into this world. After each child was born my doctor would pull up a chair and tell me just how special each baby was and how they should not have survived birth. Emma was most amazing because she had a knot tied in her chord so tight the doctor worked on untying it for the longest time and couldn't. It was also wrapped around her neck 3 times. He told me he'd only seen a knot two other times and the babies were both born still born and the knots were easy to untie. Our next baby Ammon only needed a body and was born too early to live longer than his brief 7 minutes. Then Easton came along...and I want to say what miracle didn't happen with him. Now we are 9 weeks and 2 days pregnant with our last baby that we never thought would be possible yet here we sit and look at the ultrasound pictures and I have heard her heart beating twice now. And all I can say is Miracles Happen!
--J