Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Privacy

The time has come for our family blog to go Private. Because of recent events and certain people thinking they have the right to control or do with our lives what "they feel" is best, this is why we are going private. But I guess that blogger won't let me have just the family blog private I have to have all my blogs private.... unless someone can tell me how to reverse that so that this one can remain "open" anyway.... I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers and if you want to be added just send me a comment with your e-mail address in it. For your privacy I won't publish any comments with contact info in them. Comment moderation is in effect so I have to publish the comment it won't just pop up or appear for everyone to see :)!! Thanks again for understanding.

Friday, July 24, 2009

More "AH HA" moments

As I said in my last post... I have been reading the conference issue of the Ensign. Just a quick update... yup, I'm still pregnant. The short of it is the baby's heart is doing well so they want to keep her in as long as possible. My body has been through a lot with this baby, not to go into too much detail but let's just say I was done a few weeks ago when they first decided to put me on bedrest. Since then I have become increasingly discouraged as to why she just doesn't come or why they doctor hasn't taken her yet. My biggest fear in becoming discouraged has been that the baby will feel the discouragement and that she will feel that we don't want her or don't love her. That was my biggest fear with Easton at the very end when my body was hurting so bad and I just wanted him out. I have faith that this baby knows I love her and want her here in our family and I think that she knows how much her mother is going through so that she can have life and be born. So on to my "Ah Ha" moment.

I was reading Elder Kevin W. Pearson's talk Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. And it reminded me of the book "The Secret" only from a Gospel perspective. Those who have read this book and then read his talk will understand. First off we are commanded that we (as parents) must teach our children to understand the doctorine... of faith in Christ. I had to stop and think am I teaching my children about having faith through this pregnancy? I am teaching them to endure to the end? Am I teaching them to trust in the Lord? "Faith requires an attitude of exact obedience, even in small and simple things." Although this pregnancy doesn't feel small or simple to me am I still obeying the commandments and teachings of our Savior and Prophets? This time of being on bedrest has given me a chance to think about a lot of these things. How am I teaching my children? Am I living righteously enough to set a good example? (by this I'm not meaning am I perfect) Do I show them I love them enough? Do I tell them every day that I love them and praise them for the good things they do and discipline with love where needed? Elder Pearson goes on to say "Personal righteousness is a choice." I love that. It's our choice whether or not we choose light or darkness! Now on to the part that stuck me as part of "The Secret"

Elder Pearson quotes a scripture from March 9:22-24. "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." "Faith and fear cannot coexist. One gives way to the other." and one more.... "Consider it this way: our net usable faith is what we have left to exercise after we subtract our sources of doubt and disbelief. .... Is my own net faith positive or negative? If your faith exceeds your doubt and disbelief, the answer is likely positive. If you allow doubt and disbelief to control you, the answer might be negative. We do have the choice. We get what we focus on consistently. Because there is an opposition in all things, there are forces that errode our faith." All of these quotes from his talk combined just go to show that when we have faith and when we believe that positive things will come. Some take more time than others but that is where faith comes in. And here these last few weeks I thought it was patience Heavenly Father was trying to teach me when really it is to have unwaivering faith. Elder Pearson meantioned 6 destructive D's doubt, discouragement, distraction, lack of diligence, disobedience and disbelief. Then at the very end of his talk he states a promise from the Savior : "if ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me." What a cool talk.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Inspiration

As most of you have heard by now I am "officially" on bedrest and have been for almost 2 weeks. Bedrest is not my favorite and actually drives me insane; and how do you honestly do bedrest with 3 small children? For the most part my kids have been AMAZING. If you read our family blog you'll know that yep, I have "cheated" while being on bedrest too. We have gone for a few elevation drives (some including dirt roads) which is supposed to help the baby come and I have gone walking and even took blue cohosh root (in liquid form; yuck) to help her along. But I am still pregnant, I guess she is now just too comfy to want to come.

With being on bedrest (and totally bored out of my mind) I have read a few books, finished a few projects and yes even finally found the time to read from cover to cover my May 2009 Ensign. The Conference Report :)!! I love conference and I love reading and re-reading the talks. They are so inspired and hold so much truth and guidance. I have not yet made it to the back cover, but thought I would share a few of my "Ah Ha" moments and quotes while reading. The first big one came this morning, since I have been wide awake since about 6:15am. Elder Cook's Saturday Morning talk at the very end he says "Even though our journey may be fraught with tribulation, the destination is truly glorious." Of course his talk is not talking about me an being in labor and having contractions since week 20 of pregnancy that have been on going and wearing on my nerves.... but I applied it to that anyway. On Wednesday morning I woke up just sobbing and all upset that I haven't had this baby yet. I cried for a long time. And this little quote made me think that this baby needs to be here on earth and in our family and she will come, but for some reason I get the privledge of having a crazy (tribulation) pregnancy. I'm not sure if it makes me love my kiddo's more than I would if I'd have a breeze of a pregnancy or if it's just that when she really does finally make it here... the destination is truly glorious. In most of the talks I have read so far they mention faith and endurance. Elder Eyring talked about Adversity... this pregnancy has been adversity for me but you know I have been dealing with it and I know "things will work out" but I need patience I guess. But all in all I know this too shall pass and soon I'll have a beautiful baby girl to finalize our family and what a blessing she'll be to us. I am getting super excited to meet her, see her, hold her and smell her sweet baby smell a heavenly scent. And hopefully it will be sooner than later :)!!!