Some days feel like more than a trial while others are a blessing. Some days feel never ending while others whiz past. Some days we lose our will to press on while others give us strength, courage and hope. Some days what starts out as one of these things, by night fall turns into all of the above.
I have had my fair share of good days and bad. But recently I experienced the most bittersweet day. My youngest, who is 11 months old, was scheduled to have an MRI at Primary Children's Medical Center. The MRI was to be done on her brain. We had just come home from Washington a day or so before so Jess was not able to take work off to come with me. So my Mom came with me and my little sister watched my other sweet children while we were gone. They expected us to be there for 4 hours. As I said my prayers the night before I asked Heavenly Father to give me the strength and courage I needed to face this day. The MRI was schedule for 6:30 a.m. and I had to be to work later than day as well. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through the MRI and then have to go to work two hours later. Miracles Happen! There are Angels in all of our lives watching over us, I truely believe this with all my heart and soul.
We arrived at the hospital right on time. My sweet Mother and I started out talking about a book she is reading that I have read in the past several times called "The Secret" on our way to the hospital. After the nurses gave my baby the IV and then the sedation medication, they took her to the MRI room we were not allowed to watch the MRI but we were told where her recovery bed would be and about how long it would take to run the test. My mom and I grabbed a drink and went out to the tables and chairs and chatted in the morning sunshine. We talked about "The Secret" and how it intertwined with our religious beliefs and how it works and what we are doing in our personal lives to make it work for us. It was the best conversation for me and we did talk a little bit about my family's vacation to Washington. Then we went back to the recovery room to wait for my baby to wake up. She did great and was a little trooper the whole time. There was another baby having an MRI done as well. The mother and grandmother were still gone when several doctors and nurses started showing up, pulled the curtain between us and working with this baby. My heart sank, I knew this was not a good sign. My mom and I continued to talk about being positive and little miracles and little "secrets" that happen in life. I was facing the door way when this mother rounded the corner, the look on both her face and the grandmother's said enough. My baby was waking up and almost to the point where I could take her home. At first I just wanted to get out of Dodge because I felt like I was an intruder there and that I was making it worse with my baby who was waking up and who didn't have tons of people working on her. The mother and granmother embraced and tears streamed down their cheeks and my heart hit the floor. It was then that the Spirit confirmed to me that my baby would be okay. You may say that should make me happy, and it does, but I knew the heartache this mother was facing and I felt guilty that my baby was more okay than her baby was. It was a very humbling experience for me; bittersweet. Even though my youngest is not out of the woods just yet and is still in physical therapy, she is progressing and doing well. I feel blessed! But before I went to work that night I prayed and gave my thanks to Heavenly Father but I also prayed for this other baby and the parents/grandparents for miracles to happen with them as well.